Thinking places, or I am before I am

Like each February of the past few years, I’m floating on a high from the success of the ScienceOnline2010 conference, but also reaching for a return to balance in my life. Planning the conference takes a lot out of me.

“Go away,” Erin suggested. “Take a weekend to yourself and reconnect with who you are and where you’re going.” Sage advice from the person who knows me best and has seen firsthand my struggles this last year with the too-many-activities stress I’ve layered on myself.

I immediately thought of Portland, Maine, a place of raw and grey beauty in the winter (I visited a friend there once, and loved it) and how it could provide me the solitude to reflect. Too far, though. Charleston, South Carolina? A walkable city with plenty of coffeeshops and sunshine, and I’ve wanted to get to Hominy Grill for years. Still too far. Southport, North Carolina? A perfect distance, on the water, with a historic town empty during the off season.

So Friday evening, amid heavy rains, I kissed Erin and the girls goodbye and drove slowly south, arriving at the Riverside Motel near midnight. A good night’s sleep (already known that I need more sleep) and I woke in a cold, damp, overcast seaside town, wondering if I actually had woken in Portland. My computer off, my Blackberry away, I bundled up and went walking past the historic cottages of Southport, thinking, pondering and just being, wearing this solitude like an electric blanket, luxurious and warm in the freedom to peer inward and to think about myself.

Off and on throughout the day I walked the streets. In the afternoon I had Oak Island beach all to myself, too.

In between fresh-air strolls, I returned to my room to write. I filled pages and pages with the most free-flowing words I’ve put to paper in many years. That stream of consciousness manifesting in ink on paper helped me to understand the emotional wellspring I’d been neglecting.

I’ve long known, though, that I’m a reader before I’m a writer. Other writers’ words entertain me, educate me, challenge me and console me.

Over lunch, and then dinner, I devoured Writing Places, the latest book by William Zinsser, whose On Writing Well is perhaps the best tutorial on writing nonfiction you can read. Writing Places had me choking back tears often. His stories about places he’s written, and writers he’s taught, spoke directly to me, counseling me to “enjoy the day and its friendships and its unscheduled pleasures” and that “the hardest part of writing isn’t the writing, it’s the thinking.”

Bingo.

My walking, my reflecting, my writing and my reading through the day made clear that I’d neglected a very important priority over the last decade — time to reflect and to write. And that loss of time to contemplate and think through my hands had helped to bottle up expression of my emotions. What I realized this weekend is that I think through writing. I get in touch with my emotions through putting words to paper. (I’m happy, don’t get me wrong: I have so very much that gives me joy. It’s the stress of juggling too many obligations, with no outlet for the pressure, that’s caused this sharing.)

This was a decade in the making.

Ten years ago, I was newly returned from my Peace Corps service in the Republic of Vanuatu. During my two years on Paama Island, I’d written daily in a journal, and letters home to family and friends nightly at the table beneath the dim flourescent light powered by the solar panel. But when I was back in the States, I turned full face to the Internet and started a blog to share my observations with my far-flung family — and anyone else who wanted to read my thoughts.

But those weren’t my full thoughts, because my blogging is not the same as the journaling I’d done on Paama. What I write on my blog shares only part of who I am and what I’m feeling. One time I did open up more fully, sharing a feeling of hurt at what I thought was a snub, and some of my friends quickly commented on how open I was with that post. (Read that post and you’ll see my overdoing it is nothing new. Hmmm.)

In 2000, for my 30th birthday, Erin and I gathered my friends in our Shaker Square apartment to usher in my decade of writing. My friend and mentor, John Ettorre (himself mentored by William Zinsser), had told me years before that I should “live in my 20s, and write in my 30s”. I didn’t write the book I promised — though I did edit and publish books by my grandfather and father — and I managed to write here on The Coconut Wireless (my blog’s name, which most don’t realize) for 10 years running.

For a few months now, I’ve been thinking about my coming 40th birthday, and how I will commit this decade of my life. I’ve long been drawn to narrative and storytelling, exemplified by my narrative journalism attempts, the idea for StoryBlogging and our partnering ScienceOnline2010 with the wonderful The Monti. But, I haven’t felt that I have the skills to be a storyteller, because I also think of myself as a listener before I’m a talker.

My self-examination this weekend, though, has shown me a window and a way. The more I write, the more I think. The more I think, the more I understand. The more I understand, the more I express.

So, the formula I’ll try is this:

• personal journal writing — words for me;
• letter writing — words to friends and family, sharing my inner life as appropriate;
• blogging — observations and stories for with the world, with more of who I am.

I know of other changes to make, and my personal insights have given me renewed energy to venture into 2010 and journey into my 40s. This will be a story, perhaps, of places to think.

Thank them - they made ScienceOnline2010 possible

Last week’s ScienceOnline2010, our fourth annual science communication conference in North Carolina, was our biggest, best and most successful event yet, and from the long list of blog and media coverage and the Flickr pictures, YouTube videos and Twitter mentions of the conference (all using the tag #scio10), it certainly seems the BlogTogether spirit was coursing through the 267 participants.

Bora and I can’t be happier, or more proud, of what this conference achieved. More than anything, we are astounded by the openness with which so many people came together to share, explore, question, listen and narrate in order to reflect the importance of science in their lives and how the Web can be used to share their passions for science. See Bora’s excellent post, Making it real: People and Books and Web and Science at ScienceOnline2010 (and please give us your feedback through this form).

Our gratitude goes to all who attended the conference and participated so energetically in the conversations there.

And special thanks goes to the following individuals and organizations that helped us grow and improve this conference. Please thank them for making ScienceOnline2010 possible — click through to their sites to learn more about each person or organization. (We thanked the sponsors of ScienceOnline’09 here, the second event here and the first event here.)

Our host
Sigma Xi was founded in 1886 to honor excellence in scientific investigation and encourage a sense of companionship and cooperation among researchers in all fields of science and engineering. For the third year in a row, Sigma Xi opened its beautiful center for our use, and Meg Murphy and Michael Heisel made sure we had everything we needed.

Our institutional partner
The Contemporary Science Center is a catalyst for transforming science education in North Carolina, using innovative models of teaching and learning to inspire teachers and students statewide to embrace scientific engagement. When we went looking for an organization to handle our accounting (as individuals, Bora and I can’t accept foundation grants and donations), CSC Executive Director Pamela Blizzard enthusiastically agreed to help. Her center is based in a hands-on learning lab in the building of our ScienceOnline’09 institutional partner, the Museum of Life and Science, and it’s a perfect place to encourage high school students to get the science bug.

Our sponsors
Even amid the economic bad times facing our country, we were able to attract repeat and new sponsors who dramatically helped us grow the conference. Sponsoring organizations included the following:

Burroughs Wellcome Fund, an independent private foundation dedicated to advancing the biomedical sciences by supporting research and other scientific and educational activities, not only repeated its support of our conference for the fourth year in a row, it increased its past generous grants by 50 percent this time around. Their substantial support helped us bring New Yorker science writer Michael Specter to the conference as keynote speaker. Russ Campbell, communications officer, has long been a friend to the conference, and we’re indebted to him for his cheerleading for our annual conference and his leadership in forming the Science Communicators of North Carolina (along with scientist and science writer Chris Brodie).

Last year, the Research Triangle Foundation, the granddaddy of science parks in the U.S., helped us even our accounts with a last-minute grant. This year, RTP stepped in as a major sponsor and host of our opening reception. Not only did they provide funding, logistical support and a welcoming opening-night party, but CEO Rick Weddle, Tina Valdecanas, Cara Rousseau and Jordan Mendys also offered important ideas and contacts that helped us make the conference run so smoothly. They also rolled up their sleeves Saturday and Sunday and took over important tasks at the registration table and video cameras.

Over the last year, RTP has also been an important supporter of Science In the Triangle, an evolving experiment in community science journalism and scientific-community organizing. The crew behind SITT was instrumental in helping us make ScienceOnline2010 a much more professional endeavor — witness the nice programs and donor poster designed by Tessa Perrien, the conference iPhone app programmed by Ben Schell and Seth Peterson, the video support by Ross Maloney, and of course the strategic consulting by Christopher Perrien. Sabine Vollmer and DeLene Beeland, contributors to the SITT blog, also provided some great coverage of the conference in addition to their posts about science in this region.

Tricia Kenny of Invitrogen pinged us late one night to ask if that life sciences company could sponsor the conference, and then offered to help us in some very creative ways. These included a cash grant to provide lunch on Saturday, as well as making the cool name badges, providing the tote bags and giving us a large sum to purchase Flip video cameras (through the Flip Spotlight program) that we gave out to video volunteers to record interviews at the conference and back at home.

Google Sidewiki similarly provided a cash grant and ways to win a chrome Flip Mino HD — Community manager Natalie Villalobos ran a contest during the conference to encourage posting to Sidewiki, and among the winners of the Google Flips were the eight high school students from Staten Island Academy, who each won a camera for their many and insightful comments.

RTI International, one of the world’s leading independent, nonprofit research and development organizations, returned as a sponsor, and also hosted a lab tour. RTI is an important corporate citizen in the Triangle, and we were happy they returned as a sponsor.

APCO Worldwide, a communications and public affairs consulting agency, recently sent David Wescott to the Triangle, and when his friends Elle and Jonathan, who have attended the conference multiple times, suggested he help with some sponsorship dollars, he came through just in time to help fund the extra shuttles we arranged to improve transportation between our conference venues.

The National Evolutionary Synthesis Center, which facilitates broadly synthetic research to address fundamental questions in evolutionary biology, participated as a sponsor by providing travel grants to two contest winners (learn more here), as well as paying for the Locopops & cookies treat during the conference.

The American Association for the Advancement of Science, publisher of Science Magazine, also provided a cash grant — and online editor Stewart Wills also brought cool genome t-shirts (modeled here) for the giveaway table.

The North Carolina Biotechnology Center, which seeks to provide long-term economic and societal benefits to North Carolina by supporting biotechnology research, business and education statewide, three-peated its support with a biotechnology event sponsorship grant.

Writer-researcher Pat Campbell of Campbell-Kibler Associates had planned to attend the conference again, and sent a cash grant. When her travel plans changed and she could no longer attend, she insisted we keep the money and use it to help some of our discussion leaders with travel stipends.

CrossRef promotes the development and cooperative use of new and innovative technologies to speed and facilitate scholarly research. They were a sponsor of the 2008 conference, and returned this time around with another cash grant.

Katie Mosher arranged for a donation from North Carolina Sea Grant, which provides research, education and outreach opportunities relating to current issues affecting the North Carolina coast and its communities. Benjamin Young Landis also helped stuff the grab bags and drive people to lab tours.

Event hosts and partners
On Thursday, we gathered at Alivia’s Bistro in Durham to listen to stories with The Monti, a fantastic storytelling organization spearheaded by our friend Jeff Polish. Vanessa Woods, Scott Huler, Amanda Lamb, Rob Dunn and John Kessel delighted us with their true stories about inspiration.

On Friday, RTP hosted workshops in the Park Research Center, Counter Culture Coffee welcomed a group to their weekly coffee cupping, and afternoon lab tours were hosted by the Duke Lemur Center, the Duke Immersive Virtual Environment, the NC Museum of Natural Sciences, the Museum of Life and Science (thanks Larry Boles for driving a van at the last minute!) and RTI. Many thanks to Cara Rousseau for facilitating the workshops and to Nancy Shepherd for coordinating the lab tours. And Friday night, of course, was our RTP-hosted opening reception and keynote talk by Michael Specter, noted above.

On Saturday and Sunday, more than 100 individuals participated as session moderators, discussion leaders and Ignite presenters. See the official ScienceOnline2010 program page to learn more about these talented people who provided their experiences or perspectives as a way to spark the session conversations. Thanks also to David Kroll for organizing the Saturday dinner (losing his voice in the process), to Kevin Zelnio and Andrew Thaler for emceeing the Ignite talks, to Steve Burnett for his tech support during the talks, and to Rebecca Skloot for coordinating the books giveaway (over the course of the conference, we gave away copies of books by Skloot, Specter, Huler, Carl Zimmer, Eric Roston and Felice Frankel, among others).

The generosity of our sponsors, noted above, also helped us pay for full wifi services at Sigma Xi on Saturday and Sunday. We met the guys behind SignalShare at the Social Media Business Forum a few months back, and right away knew we needed them at our conference. We can’t say enough about the service SignalShare provided — and not just the great wifi coverage that allowed us to use more than 25 gigabytes of bandwidth in less than 48 hours, but also the above-and-beyond help Joe Costanzo and Greg Hoffman gave, such as emptying garbage cans and answering countless technical questions from session moderators. These guys are talented, hard working and simply the nicest guys we’ve met.

Many thanks also to Andrea Novicki of the Duke Center for Instructional Technology for arranging the loan of four laptop computers.

Grab bag of science swag
We continued our tradition of providing all attendees with a “grab bag of science swag” filled with science materials and resources. Organizations, companies and individuals donated materials, including: Harper Collins, NobelPrize.org, NASA, Duke Medicine, and others.

Our volunteers
Elle Cayabyab Gitlin was right where we knew she’d be, sitting at the registration table welcoming all of our attendees to the conference. This year Leah Gordon joined her. Lots of others helped out throughout the weekend, stuffing the grab bags, offering rides, organizing the swag table, keeping us on track, cleaning up and much more. Thank you to you all.

Food and coffee
Meals and refreshments were catered by the following: Fetzko Coffees kept us swimming in coffee and espresso drinks with their cool Kona Chameleon coffee truck), Crumb baked the morning muffins, Saladelia Cafe and Mediterranean Deli“ catered the lunches, Locopops made the popsicles (thank you Lenore Ramm for facilitating and NESCent for paying), Whole Foods made the cookies and donated bottles of water, and OnlyBurger slung the burgers.

The organizers
And finally, a word of thanks to Bora Zivkovic, who is both the inspiration for the annual conference and the around-the-clock heart of the event’s online and off-line activities; he organized the program after many months of brainstorming with our session discussion leaders, and blogged continuously to let the world know what we had planned. Anton Zuiker took care of some of the other details. David Kroll and Stephanie Willen Brown also provided help and ideas throughout the year.

Last, but certainly not least, we thank Catherine Zivkovic and Erin Shaughnessy Zuiker for their forebearance, patience and support as we organized this conference.

And with that, we thank each and every one of you for your roles, big and small, in making this a most memorable conference. A toast of slivovitz to you!

ScienceOnline2010 has concluded, and I'm flying high

The conference is finished, I’m beat from the marathon last months and intense past four days but oh so upbeat from all the compliments and nice words people are saying about ScienceOnline2010, our fourth annual science communication conference.

For now, an inclusive “thank you, one and all.” Tomorrow, a detailed and thoughtful letter of gratitude for the hundreds of people who make this event so amazing.

ScienceOnline2010 this week: the BlogTogether spirit

My friend Bora Zivkovic quite nicely explains the genesis and development of our little conference, which happens for the fourth time this week in ScienceOnline2010. This will be our biggest and best BlogTogether collaboration yet, and I’m excited about the possibilities of putting 275 people together to discuss science communication, education and engagement.

ScienceOnline2010 is a labor of love for me (once it’s done, of course, I need to focus on my love’s impending labor — we’re expecting a son in May!), and I volunteer so many hours of my life to it because of the conversations and friendships and collaborations it engenders.

All of my BlogTogether activities, in fact, have been rooted in the idea that building community online must have a face-to-face component (I wrote about this here, an essay that starts with a reference to my just-departed grandfather).

So, this week, I’ll be listening and looking as these conversations happen, and I’ll be hoping that that BlogTogether seed takes root in those conversations. To our conference attendees, I wish you wonderful exploration of science on the Web, and, most importantly, of the faces and personalities and experiences of the people you will be meeting.

Louis Sisco, 1913-2009

My grandfather, Louis Sisco, passed away this morning, after a splendid life. Listen to his oral history.

Year to year

2009 has been a very good and busy year for me and my family — we sold our home in Durham and moved to a new house on a new street in Carrboro we traveled to a family reunion and a birthday celebration and a wedding extravaganza; the girls started a new school the same day Erin ended up in the hospital with MRSA Erin completed her first year as an attorney we held the inaugural dinner of The Long Table.

Lots of highlights to this year, but also an intensity and stress I’m eager to leave behind.

2010 is going to be no less busy, with some exciting milestones already on the calendar promising welcome growth and change.

Next month’s ScienceOnline2010 will be our fourth annual science blogging conference, our biggest and best BlogTogether event yet. Together with Science in the Triangle, our efforts to build a community around science — locally as well as globally — will continue to evolve into a more coordinated, collaborative effort.

On April 2, I will turn 40, and to celebrate, I’m planning a Long Table dinner for a long, leisurely meal and conversation about turning points. I hope you’ll join me for this.

In May, Erin and I will welcome another child to our family. We are delighted to be expecting our first son. Read my post Naming rights and you’ll know his middle name, at least.

There will be more activities and events and parties and travels, no doubt. Through it all, I resolve to stay committed to my values: family, friendships, collaboration, communication, community and narrative.

See you in the new year.

Very good

While Erin and her parents were off at the cinema tonight watching The Blind Side — a very good movie I saw earlier in the week — I was home finishing the last pages of a very good novel, Let the Great World Spin by Colum McCann. I highly recommend both.

Turkey and its narrative

The first Thanksgiving meal in our new Carrboro home, and the turkey and gravy and stuffing and all the rest turned out as tasty as in the past years. Erin’s parents are here for a visit, and it was a treat to work in the kitchen beside my mother-in-law, Joanne. Dinner was served in our finished dining room, splendidly decorated by Erin, on a table that was her grandmother’s, and on china that my mother lent me.

Wish you could have been here with us, Mom, but see you at Christmas.

Tomorrow is the National Day of Listening and we’ll be sitting down to have conversations about the past. I’ll post recordings to my podcast site, where you can find previous oral histories from my Grandpa Sisco, Grandma Zuiker and Chief Louis from Paama.

As I get up the energy to waddle upstairs to join the family movie night — National Velvet, of all films! — I’m sitting here satisfied and so very thankful.

Pajama day reminder

Malia didn’t want to miss pajama day at school again, so she made herself a reminder and put it on the floor near the front door:

Silent conversations

Last week, dissatisfied with the crappy feeling of waking up each morning anxious and stressed, I found myself thinking back to the silent retreat I made at the Jesuit Retreat House in Cleveland when I was in college. That experience of being silent, still, and serene, while contemplating life, love, faith and future, was life sustaining.

I’d like to add such moments of meditation back into my busy lifestyle.

One way to do that will be to participate in the November Experimonth — a monthly community challenge organized by Beck Tench — to build silent contemplation into one’s daily life. Over beers at Pinhook on Friday, Beck, Troy, Ben and I shared our needs and reasons for meditation, and I was struck by how we each readily talked about silence.

Why mistersugar? Why a pig?

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